


Destiny's Child

by ChillyHollow



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Gen, Healing, Music, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29697165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillyHollow/pseuds/ChillyHollow
Summary: Robin is at home recovering.  Spoilers if you haven’t read Career of Evil.(Some of the Destiny’s Child songs came out after the timeline of the story but let’s just pretend.)
Relationships: Robin Ellacott's Family - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	Destiny's Child

“Survivor” by Destiny’s Child was playing in the background on the radio while Robin painted her nails a petal pink as she hummed to the music.Matthew would be home this weekend for Christmas break and she wanted to look nice when he came over.She’d helped her mother decorate Christmas cookies this afternoon and then she’d baked a lemon drizzle cake since all her brothers would all be home for the weekend as well. She’d then gone upstairs to her bedroom, washed her hands, and started doing her nails.

Her parents and brothers wanted her to go to the Christmas service on Sunday but she didn’t think she could handle it.Ever since she’d been attacked at uni, she had trouble being outside in the wide world, beset with dangers as it was. She couldn’t cope, not yet anyway.It was getting better—she could leave her bedroom now without too much trouble most days—but she still couldn’t leave the house without risking a panic attack. 

Robin sat on the end of her bed, her hands on her knees, waiting for the polish to dry.She looked at the Destiny’s Child poster on the wall opposite her and wondered if she’d ever be as brave and accomplished as those women.She was trying, Lord knows she was trying, but the panic took over without warning.She’d practically run when Matt had first tried to kiss her right after the attack.She’d not been able to tolerate a hug even from her parents at first.That had been hard on everyone.But she was making slow progress, mostly through her own grim determination since she wasn’t able to visit the therapist her family had found for her.Mrs. Saraham had to come to the house to treat Robin and since she was based in Leeds, she only came once a month. 

Robin wondered if she’d ever be able to go back to uni, to graduate and get a job.It seemed out of the question now.Matt wanted her to stay home and recover fully before she even thought about going back to school.“Your health and well-being come first!You know I’ll take care of you once I graduate and qualify and we get married.”

“Independent Women” by Destiny’s Child was now playing in the background.

Robin felt restless.She’d love to be able to go outside.She stood, careful to keep her hands at her sides so as not to mar the polish, and looked out.Her dad was washing the old Land Rover.Their lab Rowntree was laying in the grass, watching and hoping.He loved to ride in the back of the vehicle.She’d learned to drive on that balky old thing.Further in the distance she could see the sheep in the field.She looked at the bedside clock.It was nearly time for her to take her anti-depressants.They were supposed to reduce her anxiety but all Robin thought they did was make her sleepy.Of course that was a good thing.She’d not been able to sleep through the night for months.She kept waking up with the same nightmare—a man in a gorilla mask was choking her.She couldn’t breath, even when she woke up.The nightmares were less frequent than they had been, but they hadn’t stopped.Mrs. Saraham said they would eventually go away as long as she wasn’t stressed and kept up her relaxation exercises.Robin hoped she was right.

She sighed, and looked at the clock again.Her polish should be set.She added the clear top coat that sealed the polish and helped it last.Back sitting on her bed waiting for the clear coat to dry, Robin wondered if Matt would want to spend the night with her.As her long-time boyfriend, her parents accepted his doing so, but she didn’t like him to stay overnight with her right now.If she had a nightmare, he got upset.He was just worried about her, but she didn’t need to cope with both a panic attack and his reaction to it.She was looking forward to seeing him, though.He had not been able to come home until this weekend because of his finals and she hadn’t seen much of him this term.Bath was a long way away and he was working hard toward an accounting degree so he’d not been home often.She’d missed him, the security he represented.

Robin sat on her bed, looking unseeing at the music poster.Five more minutes and the top coat would be dry.She heard Rowntree on the stairs.He was her best friend, the one creature she could always tolerate touching her.He pushed her bedroom door open with his nose and walked in, his tail wagging.She greeted him, telling him what a good boy he was.Rowntree flopped down on the rag rug, watching her, listening to her.Sometimes he was the only creature she thought listened to her, really listened.When the clear coat was dry she’d pet him. Three more minutes.

She heard her parents talking in the kitchen.Martin would be home soon from his job.He and Robin were the only Ellacott children still living at home now that Jonathan and Stephen had moved out.When Martin got here they’d eat dinner together, the four of them.Then Martin would head out to meet his mates at the pub, her parents would park themselves in front of the television and Robin would excuse herself to go to her room where she’d read the library book Martin had gotten for her last week.It was called _The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo_. The librarian had probably picked it out as Martin wasn’t much of a reader.Robin thought it was likely he had no idea that it was a murder mystery with some pretty gruesome killings in it.So far it hadn’t caused her problems, though, and she was two-thirds of the way through it.She should tell Mrs. Saraham that she was able to read such things when she saw her again in January.

Time was up, her nails were dry, so she took her anti-depressants and then sat on the floor next to her dog and petted him.“Good boy,” she told him.He put his head on her lap and his tail beat against the floor.She felt warm and secure for a moment.She knew Rowntree wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.

“Robin!” her mother called, breaking into her thoughts. “Dinner!”

Robin got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen, Rowntree on her heels, to wash her hands and help set the table.Martin and her father were just coming in from the barn.Martin was chatting about his plans for the evening, not paying attention, so Robin’s mother had to remind him to wash his hands.Robin dished up helpings of shepherd’s pie to everyone.She drank water with her dinner while Martin and her father had beer and her mother drank tea.Martin rushed to eat and be gone, eager to join his friends.Robin and her parents ate slowly, talking about their day, the people her father had seen downtown and family and friends her mother had talked to on the phone.Robin helped clear the table, then brewed a cup of tea for herself to take upstairs to sip as she read her book.She had just put the cup down on the bedside table when her phone rang and it was Matthew.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

She smiled to hear his voice.“Fine, thanks.When will you be home?”

“Probably Sunday afternoon,” he told her.“Mum and Dad are driving up to get me tomorrow and we’re going to spend the night in Bath before heading home Sunday morning.They want to see the sights and not have to rush back.I’ll see you late Sunday afternoon sometime.Do you think your mother would mind if I came for dinner Sunday night?”

“That would be fine.”In the background she could hear a feminine voice.

“Got to go.Tom and his girlfriend are here.We’re going out to eat to celebrate taking our last exams.”He hung up and left Robin feeling a little unsatisfied.She would have liked to have talked to Matt longer but she’d see him in two more days.

Destiny's Child was doing their new song, “Say My Name,” on the radio. “I am not the one to sit around and be played….”

Robin sighed and picked up her book.

The next morning she was restless.She’d not slept that well despite her anti-depressants.She supposed she was feeling down because Matt wouldn’t be here today as she’d expected.Not his fault, of course.His parents probably didn’t want to make that long drive in one day.She listlessly played with her breakfast, something that didn’t escape her parents.Her mother tried to get her to clean her plate but her father told her to let Robin be.When they had cleared away the dishes from breakfast he told Robin that he thought it was time she took the Land Rover out to practice her off-road driving skills.“We’ll take Rowntree.He’ll love that.”Robin had a flash of panic but she managed to suppress it and to agree this was a good idea.She went upstairs and changed into a turtleneck under a sweater, put on boots, and grabbed her jacket and gloves. 

Back downstairs, Rowntree was dancing around, understanding that Robin and her dad were going somewhere in the car and he was going with them.Robin grabbed his leash as her father got the keys to the Land Rover and the three of them went outside to the yard where the Land Rover was parked.Robin put Rowntree into the back of the vehicle, then climbed into the passenger seat.Her father got into the driver’s seat.They took off for the farm, Robin breathing carefully in and out to the rhythmic rattles of the old vehicle.

Robin held tight to the seat as they left the farmyard and drove half a mile on the main road.There wasn’t any other traffic, which helped.Robin kept doing her breathing exercises.She noticed her dad looked over at her but he said nothing.He finally reached a muddy field on the back of their property.There were no buildings visible and no animals in this field or any others she could see.Her dad stopped the Land Rover and told her to switch with him.So she did.It took her two tries to get the vehicle started again because her hands were shaking but she managed it.After that it was easier.She started to stop thinking about anything except keeping the Land Rover going through mud, brambles, and more.She practiced skids and turns, slowing down and accelerating until she got the Land Rover to switch gears smoothly.Then she did it all over again.Concentrating on making the balky car perform the way she wanted banished all fears and anxieties from her mind, leaving nothing but her concentration on changing gears, using the brakes and steering, and the feel of Rowntree’s happy panting next to her ear.

She and her dad talked about the possibility of having the engine tuned to perform better, debating which garage had the necessary skills.Before she knew it, she was driving home.She had a twinge of panic when she got out of the car and her dad told her to put Rowntree inside, then they’d have to rinse the mud off the car, but she got through it.They were just finishing and putting the hose and sponges and bucket away when her dad said, “Your mum and I thought perhaps you might like to take a driving course this winter.There’s a driving school in Leeds that does defensive driving and it’s supposed to be very good.Would you like that, love?”Robin gave him an enthusiastic “Yes!” in answer, accompanied by a big hug. 

That night she was sleepy in a more normal way than she’d been in a long time, so she skipped the bedtime dose of her medication, falling asleep thinking about cars and how much she loved to drive and wondering what automobiles they'd have in Leeds for her to practice in.She began to dream but it wasn’t her usual nightmare.She was dreaming of a man, perhaps inspired by “Brown Eyes,” the Destiny’s Child song that was on the radio as she was getting ready for bed.

“Remember the first day when I saw your face.Remember the first day when you smiled at me…the way we talked, the way we laughed…when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so…I knew right there and then you were the one…his brown eyes tell it so….”

The man had deep-set dark eyes.They were in the front seat of the old Land Rover. She was driving. He was smiling at her and she was smiling back.They were comrades, going somewhere unspecified together.It was a good dream.She’d taken control of her life and was out for adventure again and this time she wasn’t all alone.She slept on, dreaming of the possibilities.


End file.
